Padam paakka polama??

Movie watching in Chennai has to be done in two theatres…either Sathyam or Inox. Cos these are the only two theatres where I get a 'hunk' (?) filled crowd to jollufy at. Somehow the rowdy-rangan or kudumba-paangu or pazham types only seem to be at the other theatres. Oh and we don’t get chai at the other theatres either…only a barely tolerable thanni kaapi.

So, there was this Hindi padam I zimbly had to see cos I really liked a song in it. So one sunny Saturday my friend Gauri and I decided to go for it. Actually I was surprised she agreed to come with me. She was (is) a normal girl, you see. Head screwed on right and tight. Quite unlike me. We managed to get tickets only in Melody. Warstu theatre!

Mid-afternoon and (not-so) surprisingly the theatre was quite empty. We were very early and me being ultimate user of time decided to go and make an ISD call to my boyfriend. I dragged a very reluctant Gauri with me to this absolutely stuffy, stinky and dirty telephone booth right next to some puncture ottifying kadai’s. While I coochi-cooed, the poor soul waited – varuthufying in the sun and sending me the occasional glare. Finally I was done! She wanted something cold to drink at a nearby “café” (read tea-kadai). I was game – as always :)

While paying the bill for the drinks I got a call from another friend. I was switching jobs and this guy was working with the company I was getting into. So deeeep in conversation I made my way into the theatre and suddenly I stopped and yelled

Me:“Where is my phone??!! Oh God!! I can’t find my phone!!”

She blinked.

G:  “Errr…aren’t you ON the phone??”

Me: “Ayyo aama-la?! Hehehe”

She frowned. One sidelong glance…that said “Is this girl wokay in head?”

Now why did I say that?? I wondered…heh! Stupid of me…

Movie started and HELLOOO…whatay fuzzy screen! Was it a 3D padam for which we forgot to pick up the kannadi’s?? I squinted. Tried to adjust my glasses and straighta poked my eye.

Me: “Where are my glasses?”

G: “Huh?”

Me: “My glasses!! I cant see the movie without it!”

G: “Oh god! Where are your glasses?? U left them at home??”

Me: “I dunno.”

G: “How can you NOT know??”

Me: “No wait…I drove the car no? I had them on then..else I can’t drive. I had them before sure-a.”

G: “Wait! I think you removed it in the PCO kadai cos it was really hot there..you probably left it there”

Me: “Ayyooo raama!!”

We ran all the way there and found my specs happily perched right next to the phone! Thank god nobody had suttufied them! Appa would’ve killed me had something like that happened. Whew! Rushed back, tripped over several feet in the dark, got roundly cursed by various film-buffs and stuffed ourselves back into the seats just as the song I liked got over…shucks!!!

Worse - it turned out to be a horror movie! The two of us got scared witless at the smallest things. Clutched each other, screwed eyes closed and yelled loudly in terror when a cat ran past our legs. Che! Waat ye mokkai place to watch a movie.

During the intermission we went to buy snacks and came back laden with popcorn, Bar-One’s, chips, corn puffs and Fefsi and after settling in my seat it struck me that I’d forgotten to collect change. Poor girl went back to the counter to pick it up. 

We happily chomped and watched and after much screaming, shuddering and shivering we survived the ordeal, declared the movie kevalam and made our way back to the car park.

Me: “Vohh gaaad! My keys are missing now!!”

She looked at me. Just simply looked at me.

Me: “Enge vechchen theriyaliye!! Did you see them any time?” 

G: “THIS…I can’t help you with”

Me: “I had them with me when we came out of the PCO shop no?”

G: “No I don’t know!!”

Me: “Where they there in the coffee shop?”

G: “You're asking me?? I DON’T know!”

Me: “Ok ok..lets hunt in the theatre first…”

She rolled her eyes and followed me. Paavam.

Big sandai with theatre watchman who refused to let us in. Gave him lanjam of 50 bucks and retraced our steps all the way back to our seats…eyes glued to the floor. No luck. Ran across to the tea kadai and while crossing road got cursed by an auto kaaran “Yeiii…Ootla sollikinu vandhiyaa??”. I was in too much of a hurry to yell back. Burst into the café…

Me: “Anna! We had coffee here sometime ago! Did you find any keys after we left?”

Him: “Ille thangachi (sister). Nothing”

Me: “Haiyyoo..anna! Please check. We’ve lost our car keys”

He made baavla of searching. Asked some co-workers about keys.Took order from corner table. Went off somewhere and then came back.

Him: “We found only someone’s house keys..and this is it!”

They were my car keys!!! Maruti Suzuki stamped right across it and so obviously he’d have thought they were house keys! Duh!! Opened my mouth to ask him how he could be so dumb...

Me: “Owwww!!”

Gauri stamped my foot.

“Rombo thanks anna!” she said

She grabbed keys and dragged me out, shoved me in the car…and that was that. 

Now, whenever I ask her out now she says "Unnodaya?? Naan vara maaten!"